On March 21, 2023, psychologists held a preventive event with servicemen of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, National University of Ukraine on the topic: "How to forget what you don't want to remember."

During life, various events happen to people. At the same time, people remember positive events more often than unpleasant ones. We all have memories we wish we could forget. Maybe it's a memory of an embarrassing moment, a traumatic event, or a person who hurt you. But sometimes it's hard to forget what we don't want to remember. The fact is that the human psyche protects itself from unpleasant memories in this way. Forgetting failures and disappointments is based on the mechanism of displacement or motivated forgetting. At the same time, painful memories are suppressed in the mind. The brain seeks to push past failures, children's images, names of unpleasant people, unpleasant meetings and conversations out of consciousness. Repression occurs with increased sensitivity to emotional events to protect against threatening thoughts. People have a tendency to push out of their memory such unbearable and painful memories as military events, murders, rapes and other things that are difficult for the psyche and are traumatic. Thus, the psyche is protected from injury. Forgetting in this case occurs at an unconscious level. A person does not understand that the event is being forgotten in his memory.

Another mechanism for protecting the psyche from unpleasant memories is suppression. Unlike repression, which occurs unconsciously, suppression occurs actively and consciously. Suppression occurs when a person deliberately avoids remembering an unwanted event. Such forgetting is manifested in the fact that a person actively avoids all thoughts that are associated with an unfavorable memory. A person is aware of his feelings and emotions, and chooses to suppress them. This can eventually lead to forgetfulness. In the event that the events experienced in the past were extremely traumatic and caused extremely intense negative emotions, the suppression of thoughts about this event is accompanied by the avoidance of any stimuli that may remind of it and a strong fear of such memories. However, it is not possible to completely get rid of such memories - they "break through" in the form of involuntary experiences - flashbacks.

Flashback - unwanted memories that cause a strong emotional reaction, as if the traumatic event is happening again. During such re-experiencing, a person seems to return to a traumatic situation, feeling all difficult experiences as acutely as at the time of the event. In the most severe cases, fragmentary illusions or hallucinations are possible (a shout, the sound of a gunshot, a child crying, etc.). In such cases, the protective mechanisms of the psyche are exhausted and post-traumatic stress disorder is formed. At the same time, even if the event was forgotten, this does not mean that it has been erased from memory forever. It can appear in memory, for example, in the form of dreams. In addition, under some circumstances, these memories can reach the conscious level. Then a person remembers the forgotten. This can also happen in the process of working with a psychologist. When memory defense mechanisms are activated, the psyche expends a lot of energy. Such forgetfulness is aimed at preserving mental health. They exist to protect a person from overstrain, anxiety, depression, unwanted behavior, and to maintain a healthy personality. However, repressed and repressed memories also have a negative side. Such forgetfulness often leads to adverse consequences. Repression can lead to intrapersonal conflicts and anger. When suppressed, a person has more opportunities to remember the event and understand the reasons for his condition. In the case of displacement, a person does not understand at all what can be the cause of his unpleasant emotions and behavior.

Techniques for getting rid of memories that cause you distress include emotional regulation, cognitive reframing, and physical distractions. With these techniques, you can learn to forget what you don't want to remember and move forward in your life.

How to create a positive mood and get rid of traumatic memories.

Creating a positive mindset and letting go of traumatic memories can be an incredibly difficult task to overcome. However, with the right strategies and support, you can develop a positive outlook on life and overcome the pain of trauma. The first step to creating a positive mindset is to become aware of how your thoughts and feelings interact with each other. Notice when negative thoughts and emotions arise and challenge yourself to reframe the situation in a more positive light. For example, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by a difficult situation, take a moment to ask yourself what you can learn from the experience and how it can help you grow.

Creating positive coping strategies will also help change your mindset. Exercise, yoga, and deep breathing are great ways to reduce stress and clear your mind. Additionally, spending more time outdoors and participating in activities that bring joy can help create a more positive mood.

                    

How to distract yourself from unwanted memories

Distractions from unwanted memories can be a useful tool when trying to deal with unwanted memories. There are several distraction techniques that can help you deal with difficult memories.

First, it helps to focus on the present. Whenever you have intrusive thoughts or memories, it's important to remind yourself that the past is the past. Acknowledge this feeling, then pay attention to the present. Take a few deep breaths and focus on the here and now. Participating in activities that require your full attention can also help. It can be reading a book, assembling a puzzle or playing a game.

Another useful strategy is keeping a journal. Writing down your thoughts can help you express your feelings and gain perspective for the future. It can also be helpful to talk about your memories with someone you trust. Having an open and honest conversation can help you understand and process events that happened in your past.

After all, even being physically active can be beneficial. Exercise releases endorphins, which can help improve your mental well-being. Spending time doing things you enjoy can also be beneficial. It can be a walk, listening to music or watching a movie.

Distraction can be a powerful tool when trying to deal with unwanted memories. Taking time to focus on the present, journaling, talking to someone, and exercising can help you deal with intrusive thoughts and memories.

How to forget what you don't want to remember:

- Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has gone through situations where they made a mistake or did something wrong. It is important to remember that mistakes are part of the learning and growth process.

- Practice self-compassion. Instead of beating yourself up over a past mistake, focus on what you can learn from. For example, if you made a mistake at work, ask yourself how you can use that experience to be more successful in the future.

- Practice mindful meditation. Mindful meditation is a great way to help you understand your thoughts and feelings and practice self-compassion. When you practice mindful meditation, focus on your breath and observe your thoughts without judgment.

-  Practice gratitude. Take some time to think about the things you are grateful for. Practicing gratitude can help distract you from your mistakes and help you be more mindful of the positive things in your life.

- Finally, excuse yourself. Make a conscious effort to forgive yourself for mistakes. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that you are doing the best you can.

How to use visualization techniques to forget unpleasant memories.

Visualization techniques can be an effective tool to help you forget unpleasant memories.

Visualization is the practice of creating mental images or scenes in your mind. This involves focusing on positive thoughts and experiences to block out negative ones. By visualizing a pleasant memory or scene, you can replace a negative memory with a more positive one. Tips for using visualization techniques to forget unpleasant memories:

Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Use this breathing exercise to relax and clear your mind. Visualize a soothing scene. It could be a place you have visited,  or something that brings you a sense of peace and relaxation. Allow yourself to immerse yourself in the image and focus on the details of the scene. Call up an unpleasant memory. Allow yourself to think about this memory, but make sure you don't dwell on any of the negative details. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of the memory. Replace the memory with a visualization. Visualize the soothing scene you created earlier and allow yourself to immerse yourself in it. Replace the unpleasant memory with a positive one you created. Take another deep breath and open your eyes. When you're done, take a few moments to reflect on the visualization and appreciate the calming scene you've created.

Ultimately, it's important to seek professional help when necessary. A psychologist or psychotherapist provides additional support where possible as you work through traumatic experiences and develop healthier coping mechanisms for unpleasant memories.